我今晚真的不该回家啊
夜游！将是多么美好的事啊
突然想到很多趣事，比如我该进军台湾，什么小s根本不是对手！
还有我知道为什么我的明信片退回来了哇咔咔
还有想到最近的一些事，都挺美好的呀
比如去ikea还是要和男生一起就可以买回来好多哈哈
还有mq是多么一个让我admire的女生啊！！！
还有我偶像多体恤啊，虽然就喜欢拉着我玩，不让我学习吧
不过我今天第一次去了b art，那扇窗户都好美，还有一群可爱的小孩！
还去了coffee！
吃了火锅，哈哈聊天哈哈，和大家在一起就好开心~
小陈还给我们吃木瓜哇
喝茶！涂了脚指甲油！哈哈，明天光脚踩毯子咯
在岛上开车是一件多么好玩的事啊，尤其是那么牛的司机，没有推背感！
远远的开到岛上多么奇妙啊，一座象小说里的样子，堆满的针状密密麻麻高楼的远方，看着我们就冲向它！呵呵
还有那个牛停车场！
以及chinatown好吃不贵的蛋塔！haha
还有啥啊
呜呜，生活还是挺美好的哦
从纸包鸡的哲学说起
一位“高人”曾经看着端上来的纸包鸡对我说：你看这鸡翅也如人生一般。外表光鲜华丽的它将自己裹得太紧了，于是当它褪下面具（纸包鸡外的锡纸）时，它会将自己弄得很痛（揭开锡纸时有时会将鸡皮一起撕下来）。另外，你看它外焦里嫩，是不是也有点貌似煎熬痛苦，其实内心自得其乐。说完，“高人”笑了笑，然后也自得其乐的啃起了纸包鸡。
从一篇文章 hey art museum, give me ipod eye canday http://www.wired.com/culture/culturereviews/commentary/imomus/2007/04/imomus_0424
看到了这个联接
http://moma.org/exhibitions/2007/jeffwall/
看到的时候很兴奋
我郁闷死了
衣服要么一片白要么一片黄，没有样式
鞋都一个德性，丑死了！！！
就奢侈的买了一管护手爽花了27，，，
见识了一个牛司机，唉再次意识到独立的重要
12 Ways to Stay on Top of Stress
You know how you have those weeks (or maybe months or years) that just seem to be loaded with stress? I know it’s all relative — one person’s stress is another’s holiday. People with two children think having just one child is a piece of cake, and so on. I’ve had one of those weeks — I’ve been on the road a lot and dealing with an injury, work hasn’t been going my way, and my three-year-old has been possessed by an alien. And I’m not talking about a friendly alien that wants to know what this planet is all about — no, I am talking about someone who wants to launch a full-scale assault, but only in public places. To be honest, this stress has even made it more challenging to relate to my husband in a free-and-easy "girlie" way. I’ve had more tones of "wife" in my voice during this past week than I’ve had in my entire 11-year relationship.
It takes a million years for one gene to change in our bodies. One million years! I’m bringing this up because, physiologically, we’re the same humans we were 300 years ago. But look at how things have changed in that short time. Some things make life easier now: washers and dryers, transportation, abundance of food, electricity, etc. But some things make life today more insane: cell phones, traffic, increased population, fake food, TV, busy schedules. I heard a statistic from a doctor-friend that we make more decisions in one day than people used to make in a year. No wonder we’re stressed out and reaching for doughnuts or alcohol to cope.
All this craziness and high-speed living isn’t going away. Since we can’t change our genes, we have to create a map to navigate this crazy life. What can you do to try and stay on top of the stress so it doesn’t affect your health, happiness, or waistline?
Exercise. Amen for endorphins. Believe me, they’ve helped me many days with my perspective. If you have to work out, then go take a brisk walk and get that blood flowing. It isn’t about working out to lose weight — it’s about being healthy and staying sane.
Eat the real stuff. Crappy food (fast, processed, and loaded with sugar) doesn’t help your chemical brain and body handle stress. Living food, real food, helps support your mind and body while it’s trying to deal with the million things coming its way. Every time I reach for the chocolate, I’m looking to feel something from it. Don’t get me wrong — if it’s just a little here and there because I enjoy the taste of it, great. But if I’m using it the minute I feel overwhelmed, then that’s when that food is no longer OK to eat. It doesn’t make the problem go away, and then I just feel bad about eating the food to pacify myself. Grab green food instead. Put things in your mouth that are going to support your immune function and keep you levelheaded.
Notice. Try not to let the stress overtake you. Recognize the situations that cause the stress and notice them coming your way. You have a better shot at fending off the full effects of the stress when you can anticipate it.
Get it off your chest. Talk to a friend or partner about the stress. Sometimes just getting it off your chest can help unload some of the burden.
Keep your sense of humor. If you do have the chance to talk about it, try to see the irony and humor in the wacky bits. I think someone is dead in the water once they lose their sense of humor.
Stay grateful. My daughter has large lungs and verbal skills she likes to display. Just when I start to wishfully think about her being quiet, I remind myself to be grateful that she can talk to me at all. In almost all of our problems are boatloads of blessings. "Oh, I don’t feel like going to the gym." Well, Amen that you have the means and the health to even be able to wrestle with the idea of going to work out. Make a habit of saying thank you. You will notice the sunny spots a lot more often, and not just the gray skies and storms.
Ask, "What’s the hurry?" Have some fun. We’re always so busy going somewhere, we miss just enjoying the moment. If an opportunity comes your way to do something fun, take it.
Take a deep breath. When you feel the stress getting to you, take a moment. Get away, even if it’s just for an hour, to be with yourself and your thoughts. Some people like to take a walk, meditate, lock themselves away in a beautiful bath, or go to church. Find the peace and the silence.
Keep it simple. Simplify where you can. Does Junior really need to be in 78 activities at the age of 5? Do you have to go to every little party or gathering you’re invited to?
Turn of the TV. A lot of it is bad news anyway, and it robs us of hours that we could use to be getting other things done. Since everyone complains that they have no time, get some by unplugging from the tube.
Sleep. If you’re rested, you have a better shot at handling things. Not to mention, you may not stress out as easily if you have a chance to recover at night.
Drink water. I have said it before: Americans consume 21 percent of their calories through liquid consumption. Hydrate with water. Help you entire system function better just by drinking enough water. Oh, and by the way, if you don’t think that weight loss and proper hydration have a relationship, think again. Shift the paradigm on its side — don’t think about exercise and nutritional eating just as something you have to suffer through to get into those jeans. Instead, think of them as armor that will protect you in this crazy world, with all of the bazillion details you deal with every day.
Happy Happy
Happy Happy Happy happy
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy
Happy Happy
Happy Happy
Happy Happy
Happy Happy
Happy
昨天很是伤心，某人就是不会安慰人！不会说话！不咋considerate啊笨诺
唉。。。
好吧，突然想到了一个很可以探讨的point
就是trust信任，忽然觉得其实这种trust可能是虚无主义，因为 是建立在无基础之上的，你根本没有什么evidence once you decide to trust someone! 对么
我想所谓的没有安全感大概也是得不到这种 最最基本而必要的trust
长岛冰茶及其他
这世界上的很多东西，都不是它看起来象的那个样子。一如手上这杯暗红色冰冷顺润的长岛冰茶，虽然有着茶的名字，却是极易醉人的最烈性的鸡尾酒。还好，品过之后，依然清醒。
凌晨1点，闷热的天气终于清凉下来。夜风拂过，空气中弥漫着一种莫名的香气。打破了以往出差时间最长的记录，甚至住成了香格里拉的顶级VIP会员，这里对我仍然是一个完全陌生的城市，仍然是一个期待离去的地方。回酒店的路上，看着陌生的霓虹流彩从车窗外滑过，有那么一刹那，觉得自己回到了杭州。或许是被那杯烈酒渲染出来的轻浮幻觉，原本沉寂疲倦的思绪，突然泛起了涟漪。
很奇怪，在北京已经生活了近三年，却没有一点点归属感。很多时候，在杭州生活的点点滴滴都会不经意间涌现出来，让我怀念并唏嘘着。
上一次去酒吧，应该是毕业前夕在西湖边的某个地方，一帮就要各奔东西的哥们，畅饮到深夜。其实最熟悉的，是从学校正门出去，求是路和曙光路交界处的那个小酒吧，名字都已经忘了。那时候经常是2、3个弟兄一起，喝嘉仕伯，听听bossa nova，放舞曲的时候和着留学生们一起扭一扭。哦，对了，还有北门附近的那个后街酒吧，听说早就不在了。那个时候就生意非常不好，却是我的最爱，经常是只有我们几个弟兄在那里，打打台球，玩玩Zippo，说说知心话。运气好的话可以放自己带的CD，比如Linkin Park什么的。还有一个经常去的所在就是旅行者，后来名气越来越大，估计也就不太好玩了。
关于深夜的大街，又想起另外一件事。读研的时候有那么一段时间，每天在校外的开发基地干到凌晨4点，然后锁上门，把自行车挂到最大档，一个人在空荡的大街中央撒把狂飙20分钟回学校。背包里的CD总放GnR和Metallica的那些老歌，然后一边跟着乱唱。那种生活曾经被称作后现代狂欢。
那个时候就想，以后离开杭州了，一定要写点什么纪念一下这样的生活。只是一眨眼，3年过去了，人也踩在青春的尾巴上了。整天忙来忙去，却忽视了精神上的愉悦。我有多久没有买喜欢的CD了？我有多久没有跟老朋友出来聊天了？我有多久没有放松下来享受一下哪怕片刻的宁静了？
有时间，也许应该回杭州看看。
中午还跑回去睡了个午觉的，咋回来又困了呢。。。
不能忍了。。。
以后睡觉坚决关手机，不过今天帮到大帅哥哥hoho
中午和一个台湾出生的faculty吃饭，他的样子实在象一个地道的台湾男人，虽然不帅，但是很象八九十年代的台湾男人的样子，戴个眼镜，有点土有点呆有点老实有点风尘仆仆的，其实完全是我捏造出来的，人家很小就在美国长大拉。。。
有点忧伤又可爱
哦 这段的忧伤，快点过去吧
i don’t know why
I know a person named jiang
his msn shows leaving for beijing on Apr 27.. farewell US
I feel sad like I lose something
but we don’t talk to each other even
so how comes this emotion
Am I afraid of changing anything?
我在看书摊上的书，There was an old lady who swallowed a fly，咯咯的笑，偶像说人家小两口举着冰淇淋过去了。。
于是我又一次吃了冰淇淋。。。
我想了想，你们看是不是很贴切 <br>
民工都是抱砖头们，我天天抱比砖头还砖头的书们<br>
民工盖楼吧，我就是码字爬格子写proposal和paper<br>
民工一年到头不能回家，我也是有家不能回啊<br>
民工挥汗如雨吧，我也遥看瀑布挂前川<br>
民工光干活没饭吃，so do I<br>
民工一般很土，再看看我<br>
民工被包工头压迫，我被boss管着<br>
民工大军在中国规模浩大，phd在米国也是个large number<br>
。。。<br>
不说了，民工一会儿得做presentation了。。。哆嗦<br>
我去到哪就都想买东西，尤其ikea，乱买型的唉
唉以后不出门，不动弹，不过买了东西还是很高兴地也有点动力把屋子收拾一下，嘻嘻
而且这天气好的让你绝望，待在家里实在浪费，就去了海边，风好爽啊
读读书多好啊
可惜不是学习，他也不理我。。。。哼哼
我决定不再想着他，看他这不积极地
斜阳打在我墙上，很美的啊
我们 吃完饭就在河边散步，为的就是碰上溜狗的人
现在床底下还爬着一只乌龟，他还很得意，说是只野龟，说他不买就被人吃了！
然后他现在学会在我这里撒娇！
不高兴就撅嘴！
然后赖着要吃螃蟹
all the others who jumped out are so nice and considerate.
Ross came to my reward reception and Irish cooked the dinner and waited me until so late
Ye sent me an email saying forgetting about the exam. Sure there is yilin cfting me.
And I won the gold as expected. SHY
That guy who called later than I am released seemed much more lucky…
Anyway he made me lol
Thanks, dear all
get into the habbit of replying emails asap!
swing into action!!!
study
Let your arms swing as you walk.
荷叶、桑叶、桂花
life is more and more tough
life is never easy
i don’t wanna grow up
i still wanna be a lil girl
you should find someone who will always treat you as a little girl
can I find one?
I can’t rely on it
刚才看那篇thirsty girl，然后又看狼夫妇在西湖边的照片
是很大的conflict，对自己来说，pity
难道绕了一圈还是水瓶？呵呵
想想昨天晚上时不时喝了小酒，就一直睡的这么香，早上醒来绕圈圈找偶像。。。
我估计永远也不了解他。每当我想从回忆中琢磨他时，脆弱的心便会慌乱，让人的思绪无力地陷入梦呓般的嗫嚅。即使曾经赤裸相对，让他笑容可掬地看着我给他留下浅浅的伤疤，我依然承认，他是不真实的。他是个不会躲避的幻影，虽然双臂打开满面春风，待人扑进去，便撞在冰冷的墙上。他不是那种深沉类型的男子，这些人因为隐藏得深而让人难以接近，但是依然是实在的，可挖掘的；他是如水晶般剔透的儿童，热情地把自己的一切都呈现出来，甚至天真地带着向大人炫耀的纯真的得意。然而他的这种呈现，总是超过常人期待的范围，即使我不停地修改没完没了地校正，还是带着遗憾以及些许认命发现－－事情并非如此－－这是我唯一能够预想的了。我有时觉得，也许这个躯壳里的童真把自己也当成了一副好玩的积木，随心所欲地架构自己；于是从他身上，难以追查到最深层的原因。面对他的时候，我会收起凌厉和透彻，这些于他无非就是打到水里的子弹，况且，谁能忍心去射击一个孩子呢。
ft to death
why so foolish? not know how to be with a girl, how to talk and behave
I don;t know why what he did and talked didn’t make sense
depressed!
i should talk to him soon or later,
besides i find he’s elvaluating me, sure so shoulg I.
oh my god
I lost all my entries….tears
I feel a little empty
Even though I didn’t feel so sudden, I am still sad. Finally my paranoia leads to what happened just now.
The only thing I can do is to blame me why I didn’t keep history of all those entries!
Maybe there must be something leaving me eventually, the only thing I can do is to accept it! Not to regret or to miss
Keep straight forward to sky and think of future!
